I have been in a rut of sorts.
Searching for inspiration and insight to share. It is difficult for me to be fully open when I’m in a place I don’t feel I’m able to be an inspiration to others. I generally always want to be able to share the process once I have passed through it. I had a conversation in therapy in which my therapist basically called me out, in a therapist type of way of course. Essentially, she brought light to the fact I’m not one to share my experiences until I have fully processed through them because then I wouldn’t be in a position of “perfection.”
Opening myself up and sharing during my process would require vulnerability, in turn shedding light on my flaws. I’ve always thought I embrace my flaws quite well. Yet, after hearing her say this, I do have to admit it got my wheels turning. Why should I feel ashamed to share my process while at the same time embracing my flaws vs. embracing my flaws without sharing what they actually look like, feel like, smell like, taste like (pretty sour in all truth).
I’m beginning to think it’s at these times I may benefit from sharing even more. My overall goal is always bettering myself in whatever way I’m able to be of service to others, but most importantly in a way which leads me to another level of growth within myself. If I’m constantly hiding my process, then in what ways am I contributing to embracing my flaws completely? I feel like in doing so, I’m creating a huge contradiction to the purpose of Shameless Voices. Moving past the shame associated with speaking my truth. Hoping to inspire you to do the same.
The truth is, the first few months of 2017 have been rough. My emotions have been all over the place. I’ve been borderline self-destructive to varying degrees, and I’ve felt in a state of chaos. My mind hasn’t had much rest at all. I’ve had a few moments of revelation, knowing I need to make steps to get myself out of the funk, except I’ve simply had very little motivation to do so. Most importantly, I’ve also known it’s okay. [ctt template=”8″ link=”6ePdM” via=”no” ]It’s okay for me to take some time to feel in a funk.[/ctt] I know a part of growth is the lessons we can only learn through the difficult times in life. As uncomfortable as these times feel, I try my hardest to hold on tighter to my faith. Knowing on the other side of what I am going through, I will be a better version of myself by choosing to allow myself to feel my funk completely and thoroughly.
The major key is making sure I am taking the necessary time being more kind and loving towards myself. While not getting to the point I am overly beating myself up with negative self-talk or choosing behavior that in the long run will lead me further down instead of pushing me forward.
Our internal dialog is such an important part of how far down the rabbit’s hole we fall when we are in the midst of a funk session. I could literally spend an entire day completely getting down on myself. If not an entire month and so on and so forth. When I tell you how much I’ve recognized the damage it would cause over time, I realized the importance of doing my best to catch my internal dialog and redirect as needed with more empowering choices in how I speak to myself.
[ctt template=”8″ link=”6szbD” via=”no” ]When dealing with the not so fun parts of our life, we have to remind ourselves, this too shall pass, daily.[/ctt] When the negative thoughts creep in, and oh they most certainly will, balance them out by reaching for more gentle thoughts. Thoughts that speaks more to your soul. Words of encouragement, look how far you’ve already come. Affirmations, even if you don’t believe them immediately, will become a part of your daily routine. In turn, teaching yourself to believe in the process over time.
This is not to say, I don’t have entire days when I’m not feeling like a train wreck. I’m saying, I allow myself to go through those days while at the same time putting in work to maintain as much of a balance as I actively can. It takes a conscious effort all throughout the day. Daily. Did I mention daily? What I am not saying is fake the funk. Don’t force yourself to move any faster through the process before you’re ready. Processing isn’t a race. This is you taking care of yourself during your moments of need; whatever than means for you. Listen for your inner voice + trust your body for guidance.
One major aspect about me, I process through my rough patches best when I’m in solitude. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I have found being able to sit with my feeling uninterrupted brings me the most relief over time. I believe a part of that stems from my desire to not want to burden others who also have their own life struggles to work through. This is something I want to work on. I would like to open myself up more to sharing my process while I am in it. Giving myself permission to be human. Truly embracing my flaws without feeling the need to hide them until I think they are more under control. Giving up the need for perfection. Allowing myself to be vulnerable and free of the fear of judgement that could come from sharing the rough times right as they are raw. Speaking my voice shame(less)ly.
I am fully aware of the fact life funks aren’t going anywhere any time soon. I do know, how we allow ourselves to process through them, is where we give ourselves the opportunity to choose new ways of accepting them. They are fundamentally how we learn to love the flaws we are in (See: Love the Flaws You’re In). They are the backbone to how we blossom each and every day. [ctt template=”8″ link=”7MN3c” via=”no” ]It is through the struggles in our lives we’re able to build ourselves up stronger + wiser. [/ctt]
Each time I review the ways I’ve grown throughout my life, I can normally pinpoint events when I was in a rut, contributing the most value towards changes I made to better myself moving forward. The funks, however much we dislike them, are only as powerful as what we feed them regularly. Feed them love and appreciation for pushing you further into your purpose. Your future self will thank you for it.
How is your current funk level?
